2021 has been a trying year for most. My family did not escape its wrath, although those of us who’ve survived it are battle scarred and weary, but grateful and stronger for it at the same time. In a recent chat with someone I love dearly, she confessed to finding New Year’s resolutions a waste of time “If 2021 has thought me anything it is that you can’t control life, so I’m not setting any. I resolve to deal with things as best I can when they happen to me.”
New Years Resolutions
Let me confess, I did not make any New Year’s resolutions – I have goals. I’m content with the ones I’ve defined and am happily working towards. New Year’s resolutions have never worked out for me, probably because most of the ones I set when I was younger revolved around losing weight or changing something about my exterior self.
I understand the motivation around New Year’s Resolutions, I really do. People feel compelled to pause and reflect - to take stock and celebrate the highs or acknowledge and let go of the lows; as well as to set goals and plan for the period ahead - at traditional or symbolic periods of new beginning. This could be 1 January or Birthdays or Spring Day or any Anniversary celebrating the 365-day journey around the sun; or even Mondays – any fresh start days where you feel motivated to close the chapter and leave past failures behind.
So, why can’t we keep them?
So, if we’re extra motivated when making these resolutions, why then do so many of us fail, or stop working on most of those resolutions by February?
"The Right Mindset"
Inspowered Coaching
Both resolutions and goals are about change or transformation – the difference to me is the mindset with which we approach them. A resolution is a decision or “resolve” to do or stop doing something – a black or white, on or off rigid instruction almost!
A goal is a desired outcome or result of a change/transformation – the process of clearly articulating that goal, planning for it, and setting realist steps to achieve it is a positive and solution-oriented process. If we follow the process of setting goals as opposed to resolutions, I am sure we will have a greater chance of successfully effecting the change we seek.
"You can't stick to it if your heart's not in it."
Inspowered Coaching
When committing to make a change – you need to make sure the actions align with your core values. One of the key coaching areas critical to success is the ability to provide a safe space for asking the right questions to help someone assess the as-is situation and grow self-awareness. Oftentimes, when someone is stuck, a value-based approach is needed to empower them to move forward in a meaningful direction.
"They just weren’t good resolutions!"
Inspowered Coaching
Sometimes we have so much going on in our life’s, a little more foundational work needs to be done to zone into what is most important for us to work on before we can set those goals. 20% of people that I coach are not in a position to understand what this means for them. Luckily coaches have an arsenal of tools to help work through the noise and uncover these. Some of my favorites include building the self-vocabulary through a series of internal/external assessments and questioning the deep conscious about individual meaning and purpose.
"They just weren’t SMART!"
Inspowered Coaching
SMART is such an overused but powerful acronym – and resolutions or goals need to be smart. A large part of my work is to help to ensure:
- Your goals are Specific and clearly articulated - they are unambiguous, cannot be mistaken and are elevator pitch simple;
- They are Measurable - which sometimes means breaking them down into smaller more manageable, measurable goals. Sometimes it means creating interim measures with checkpoints built in to see if you’re on the right track or need to course correct;
- They must be Achievable – this means something that is in your power to change and you have access to the resources required to make it happen;
- They are Relevant – relevant goals will align with your values and long-term objectives;
- They are Time-based – generally when breaking goals into the more manageable measurable chunks, time boxing is also used to guide us so that you have enough time to action specific tasks and feedback in a subsequent session, thus enforcing accountability.
So, do or don’t do New Year’s resolutions. But I implore you, don’t resolve to just let life happen to you. Dream, set goals, then set out to achieve them with passion and purpose. You might not eventually end up where you were intending, but you’re more likely to end up in a happier and more productive, fulfilling space.
Inspowered Coaching